


The Unknown Is Scary, Isn't It?

by PiningTsukkiEnthusiast



Series: UshiTen Week 2020 [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Autistic Ushijima Wakatoshi, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Languages, M/M, Pining Ushijima Wakatoshi, Pre-Canon, UshiTen Week 2020, Ushiten Week, he kinda always is in my fics and that's on: i project onto him, it's really implied but, ok yea i think that's all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast/pseuds/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast
Summary: Day Six:5+1 Times|Brief Encounters|Office AUFive ways Wakatoshi tells Tendou he loves him (plus one time he says it directly)
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: UshiTen Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894027
Comments: 19
Kudos: 499
Collections: Ushiten Week 2020





	The Unknown Is Scary, Isn't It?

**Author's Note:**

> WOO ok only one day left to go!! Basically here's the concept: I took the five love languages and then I turned it into a fic. I sorted through them in what I thought would be Ushi's love languages? And then, from his least love language to most, sort of used it to show his feelings progressing. The more Aware he is that he loves Tendou, the more he, shows it in a conscious way that to him, means Love.

I. Gifts

Towards the end of first year, Wakatoshi comes to the conclusion that Tendou may be his best friend.

Wakatoshi hasn’t had many friends in his lifetime; making them was hard and maintaining them was harder. But it isn’t hard with Tendou. It’s… easy. It’s the most natural thing in the world.

He isn’t sure how he realized it, initially. It wasn’t when he and Tendou were playing volleyball or eating lunch together with the rest of the team. Instead, he’s in the convenience store, looking for a snack, and his eyes linger on a keychain.

It’s a character from some manga, one that Tendou’s been obsessed with lately. Wakatoshi’s eyes linger over it, then he returns to looking for a snack. He doesn’t think a lot about people at random, and he’s never seen something that just _reminds_ him of someone.

So, Tendou Satori is probably his best friend.

It starts to happen more frequently.

There are special editions of manga volumes, little trinkets of merchandise, chocolate ice cream, anything that’s the same shade of red as Tendou’s hair. Wakatoshi is beginning to feel like he sees Tendou in everything.

Of course, this isn’t helped by the fact that it’s nearing Valentine’s Day, and everything seems to be red or chocolate. It’s a holiday that basically screams _Tendou Satori_. Absently, Wakatoshi thinks that if Tendou were a holiday, it would _be_ Valentine’s, if for nothing else than the aesthetic.

Without realizing, he stops in front of the many heart shaped boxes of chocolates, all in different sizes. He is not so far removed from social etiquette to not understand the implications of the day. It’s a day of confessions, love, and rejection. Every box has a different meaning, and the fact that it is store-bought can have a meaning in and of itself.

But Wakatoshi doesn’t really know what those meanings _are_. As it is, he finds the act of giving someone a gift to be a confusing task. Having to attach nuances and symbolism to it as well…

It makes him admire the girls who are brave enough to jump into the sea of societal implications and pressures to do something as simple and kind as telling someone how they feel.

He frowns a bit, still not sure which boxes should mean what.

Wakatoshi didn’t come to the store for chocolates. He came to get rice and some produce. So, he leaves the aisle and returns to the task at hand.

The next day, the team goes to the store together after practice.

It’s a Friday, so they can do that. The senpais are loud and laughing and teasing each other. They’re so close. _Maybe they’re all best friends,_ Wakatoshi idly muses. He looks at Tendou, who is looking at the more expensive and decorated of the chocolates. Those are in a glass display, one where someone has to get them out for you.

“Aren’t they pretty, Wakatoshi-kun?” Tendou says, eyes wide as he looks. “It’s gotta be hard to make something so small look so detailed!”

Wakatoshi hums. For the most part, he’s indifferent, but perhaps because he’s never given much thought to it before. “They are well-made.”

“It’s so cool!” Tendou leans closer to the glass, as close as he can without putting his face against it. “You know, I betcha some of the chocolates people claim to be homemade for Valentine’s Day are really just bought like this.”

Wakatoshi shrugs. Another thing he’s never given much thought to. It isn’t as though he’s ever received Valentine’s chocolates before. All the better, really. He would have to figure out something for White Day, then, and that was a level of social etiquette that he didn’t even know how to _begin_ to broach.

“Not that you’d know; homemade chocolates are usually confession chocolates,” Semi says, appearing behind Tendou. He pokes Tendou’s sides to make Tendou back away from the glass.

“I could get confessions!”

“You’ve only ever gotten obligation chocolates and you know it!”

Tendou sticks out his tongue like a petulant child, but he doesn’t really seem bothered. “As if you’ve ever gotten anything more, Semisemi!”

This is something that Wakatoshi just observes, still learning. How to tease someone without being mean; how to be mean without causing offense. It’s complicated, seems to involve saying things that you don’t mean. Wakatoshi doesn’t know how to do that. He says things because he means them.

“I’m hungry,” Semi says, attention diverted by the meat buns. “I think I’m gonna get some of these. Do you want any?”

Tendou shakes his head. “Not hungry.”

“You’re _never_ hungry,” Semi groans.

“Am so! I just get full faster!”

The weekend before Valentine’s Day, Wakatoshi finds himself in the shop once again.

He feels foolish, at this point, loitering around the heart-shaped boxes and the cheesy cards and wondering _what_ the meaning of all of this is. Worse still, he doesn’t know why this is bothering him so much. But then, he thinks about Tendou’s face as he looked at the professional chocolates, and he sighs. He knows why this is bothering him so much.

He wants to give Tendou friendship chocolates.

“Ushijima?”

Wakatoshi turns to see Reon looking down the aisle at him.

“Hello.” Wakatoshi turns back to the chocolates.

“Thinking of getting something for someone?”

“Yes.”

Reon hums and walks up to Wakatoshi, considering the chocolates as well. “Then, what seems to be the problem?”

Wakatoshi blinks. He’s not used to someone reading him easily, but between Tendou and Reon, he thinks he’ll be getting used to it soon.

“I don’t know where it stops being obligation chocolates and starts being friendship chocolates,” he says, gesturing to the top rows. “But I also don’t know where it stops being friendship and has a…different meaning.”

“Different ones will mean different things for different people,” Reon says, as if that’s not the exact problem that Wakatoshi faces. “But it stops being _obligation_ when it’s personal. The line between romance and friendship is separated by intention. I think that Tendou will know what you mean.”

Wakatoshi opens his mouth to ask how Reon knew, but then he remembers that his friends aren’t exactly numerous. So, he nods.

“If it’s something that you think he’ll like, then get it for him. As long as you don’t confess, he’ll know what you really mean.”

“Thank you,” Wakatoshi says. He picks one of the chocolate boxes with anime characters draw onto it. That one seems the most _Tendou_.

He gives the chocolate to Tendou after morning practice on Valentine’s Day. Tendou’s eyes go wide with surprise, and then he’s smiling brighter than the sun.

“Thank you, Wakatoshi-kun!”

“They’re friendship chocolates,” Wakatoshi says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“I can tell!” Tendou assures him. “So, we’re really friends, Wakatoshi-kun? Not just teammates?”

And Wakatoshi has no idea why this information would be surprising. But he nods, nonetheless.

“I think you are my best friend.”

At this, Tendou gapes. Wakatoshi has never seen him rendered speechless before.

Tendou gives Wakatoshi homemade chocolates on White Day, and Wakatoshi realizes that Reon was right. There isn’t any confusion about these being friendship chocolates, and Wakatoshi is honored.

“They taste better than they look,” Tendou promises, and a bite proves him right. “I’m still figuring out how to make them look pretty.”

Wakatoshi doesn’t really care about how they look, since the taste is good. Tendou looks proud of them, and that’s another reason to make the looks secondary.

(Wakatoshi decides that maybe, the next time he sees something small that reminds him of Tendou, he’ll consider picking it up for him.)

II. Physical Touch

It happens in the first game of their second year.

This is Wakatoshi’s first game as the official ace of Shiratorizawa, and he’s almost certain beyond doubt that the team is going to Nationals. The team is strong, and he’s strong. He makes a strong spike that the other team’s libero is diving and failing to receive.

“Nice kill!” Tendou says, slapping Wakatoshi’s back the way that the team sometimes does.

It’s one of those things that Wakatoshi doesn’t fully understand, outside of it being something that matters to his teammates.

Physical contact is, for the most part, a foreign concept to Wakatoshi. He doesn’t come from an affectionate family. His mother and grandmother show love, but not in the way that he’s seen other families do. They don’t hug, but they share time together. They don’t say _I love you_ much, but they help each other with chores and errands.

He doesn’t know.

Confusion aside, he’s been making an effort to be better with these things, for this team. He’s always making an effort for this team.

The game proceeds as normal, with Shiratorizawa blowing through the other team’s defense and smashing their offense right back down in their face.

Tendou gets an impressive point in, and he sends a chilling look to the other team’s ace. The ace shudders, and Tendou laughs.

Wakatoshi, in a moment of what may be bravery or just awkward determination, raises his hands up. Tendou blinks at him a few times before his mouth shapes a small _oh_ , and he high fives Wakatoshi’s hands.

It’s match point now, and Shiratorizawa is serving. Wakatoshi thinks they’ll win.

When they make Nationals, the team is cheering and hollering. Everyone is high-fiving and patting each other on the back and hugging– well, hugs are fewer and farther in between, but there’s some who seem to need to hug the entire team. Tendou is, of course, the most hug-y of them all.

Wakatoshi gives a small smile to both the upper- and underclassmen. He’s congratulated as the ace, even though he’s hardly the only factor that brought them here. One strong member does not a team make.

Tendou makes his way to Wakatoshi, and he goes for a pat on the arm like normal. Before he loses his nerve, Wakatoshi pulls Tendou in for a brief and somewhat stiff hug. It’s awkward, because Wakatoshi doesn’t hug, well, _anyone_ all that much. But Tendou beams at him, so Wakatoshi decides that it’s worth it.

It becomes normal.

Tendou has started to anticipate Wakatoshi’s high-fives and the reciprocated pats on the back. Since Wakatoshi has “broken the touch barrier”, Tendou begins to initiate it off the court as well. He sits closer at lunch, walks closer in the halls. If Tendou is near Wakatoshi, chances are that they are, in some way, touching.

It doesn’t mean a whole lot for Wakatoshi, but it isn’t unpleasant and it makes Tendou happy. That’s reason enough to keep doing it, keep allowing it.

Wakatoshi thinks that he would do anything if it meant that Tendou would smile like this. That must be what it means to have a best friend.

No matter how good Shiratorizawa is, they eventually lose at Nationals. It hurts, despite the inevitability. Wakatoshi isn’t used to hurting this much over a loss.

The team cries, but Wakatoshi doesn’t. He feels like he should be crying, because he’s just as sad, frustrated, disappointed. But he doesn’t.

He’s not really sure that he can.

Tendou isn’t crying either, just flitting from teammate to teammate with hugs and small pokes until they’re smiling through the tears. He always seems to do that, lift their spirits with the smallest of things. He’d make a great captain, Wakatoshi thinks.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so sad,” Tendou says in the hallway. They’re the first two changed and ready to leave.

Wakatoshi hums. He isn’t surprised anymore when Tendou knows what he’s feeling. “It was disappointing to come so far, only to lose.”

Tendou nods in agreement. “We still have spring nationals, though. At least there’s that.”

The words sound empty and disappointed, and Wakatoshi realizes that maybe Tendou isn’t the only one in this friendship who can read the other. Tendou isn’t crying, but he is sad. Wakatoshi hears it in his voice more than seeing it in his face.

Tentatively, uncertainly, Wakatoshi raises his hand until it rests gently on Tendou’s shoulder. Tendou’s eyes widen, but he relaxes when Wakatoshi squeezes lightly.

Wakatoshi’s eyes stay fixed on the wall in front of him. He doesn’t need to look to know that Tendou is looking at him.

III. Words of Affirmation

After spring nationals in second year, Wakatoshi is named the next captain.

He’s unsure how to react or feel. It’s not exactly an accomplishment. Wakatoshi knows he wasn’t chosen for his leadership skills. The title falls into his lap because he’s the ace, and because the team already respects and acknowledges him.

If it were based on leadership, then it should have been Reon or Tendou.

With the title of captain comes the responsibility of choosing a vice-captain, and Wakatoshi does genuinely consider both of his friends for the position. The problem is that they’re both _leaders_ , not support. They would be supportive– of this, he’s sure. It just doesn’t seem quite right.

In the end, he chooses Jin.

He’s not a regular, but his insight on the team, as an outsider, makes him an excellent choice. Jin is organized, encouraging, and the exact support that will make Wakatoshi appear as an actual captain.

“Congrats, Captain,” Tendou says, slapping his back after practice. “You took a good minute there deciding on a vice though! Don’t tell me you were thinking of little ol’ me?”

“It crossed my mind,” Wakatoshi admits plainly. “But Jin has a good perspective of the team as someone who has seen every aspect of every game. I think his insight will be the most helpful, as the view from the court is a limited one.”

It’s the same reason that you watch the film of a game after playing in it, right?

“Of course! Jin was the natural choice,” Tendou agrees, grinning bright. “So were you, Wakatoshi-kun.”

Wakatoshi hums, noncommittal. It’s less that he disagrees, and more that the concept feels strange. A captain tends to communicate with the team. Wakatoshi struggles on that front, and it’s of no real secret to anyone.

“You’re gonna be a good captain,” Tendou says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to be sure of.

It makes Wakatoshi’s heart speed up, like after doing a really good serve, and that’s strange. It’s just a bit of praise, which Wakatoshi is more than used to hearing. But something about the way Tendou says it…feels different.

Maybe it’s _Tendou_ that feels different.

That doesn’t seem too strange– Tendou is his _best_ friend, after all. Shouldn’t a best friend feel different than a normal friend? So, it would make sense that his words hold a different affect.

Despite the simple explanation, Wakatoshi keeps mulling the thought over in his mind, as though it requires some kind of _solution_.

He certainly feels things for Tendou, things he’s inexperienced with on account of never having had a best friend before. Wakatoshi’s emotional vocabulary is limited as is, but when it comes to the _unfamiliar_ , he finds himself at a complete loss. He doesn’t know what to say, but he wants to say _something_.

And Wakatoshi has never been one to censor himself, so he resolves to say the first thing that he thinks of.

It’s volleyball practice, and Tendou just made a good block, so he says, “Nice block.” He tries to throw in a small smile, but it feels unnatural, so it falls from his lips just as fast.

Tendou blinks at him, surprised, and then beams. “Thank you, Wakatoshi-kun!”

Wakatoshi feels warm from Tendou’s smile. He decides he’ll say nice things more often, when they come to mind.

As it turns out, Wakatoshi thinks nice things about Tendou quite a lot.

Upon his newfound determination to vocalize said things, this results in him _saying_ nice things about Tendou a lot. A lot for him, that is. At least three times a week. He doesn’t speak often, and he doesn’t hang out with many people outside of lunch and practice. But when he does speak, slowly but surely, it is becoming about Tendou.

(It was usually directed at Tendou before, anyways.)

Most of the time, it’s just, _nice kill_ , or _nice receive_ , or something else about volleyball. Sometimes, it’s other things.

On Valentine’s Day, for example, Tendou brings homemade chocolates to the whole team. Wakatoshi notices that they look much neater than last year’s, on White Day, and upon eating one, determines that they taste better too.

So, of course, he tells him so.

Semi squawks when he hears that. “Tendou, you gave Ushijima chocolates last year and no one else?! You’ve been holding out on us?!”

“They were White Day chocolates,” Wakatoshi clarifies, tilting his head in confusion. “He only gave them to me because I gave him chocolates on Valentine’s Day, and that’s what you do.”

“ _Yeah_ , Semisemi, that’s what you _do_ ,” Tendou says, sticking his tongue out. “Maybe if _you_ got me friendship chocolates, then you’d have experienced my incredible chocolate making skills _that much_ sooner!”

Semi sneers at him but then pops another chocolate into his mouth, which ruins any bite his expression may have held. Tendou laughs and leans on Wakatoshi for support.

Wakatoshi feels… warm.

After finals, Tendou proudly displays his passing scores. They’re even _decent_ passing scores, worth his pride.

Not enough for Shirabu, but the first-year got into Shiratorizawa on academics, so Tendou doesn’t seem bothered by his standards.

Wakatoshi glances at the sheet and hums in approval. “You’re doing much better in maths than last term.”

Tendou’s eyes widen, and Shirabu blinks at him. Wakatoshi isn’t sure why, so he waits for someone to explain. No one does.

But Tendou’s expression returns to his cheerful one, and he slings an arm around Wakatoshi’s shoulders. “Thanks, Wakatoshi-kun! I’ve been trying really hard, so it’s nice that _someone_ notices!”

He gives a pointed look to Shirabu, who rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds vaguely like _get a room_. Which is odd. Tendou and Wakatoshi each already have a room. They live in the dorms.

Reon sees Wakatoshi’s confused expression and he nods reassuringly. It’s an expression which Wakatoshi has come to learn means, _I’ll explain later._

(He does. It’s embarrassing, and wholly inaccurate. But then, Reon explains further that Shirabu was just being a brat. And well, that makes sense.)

IV. Quality Time

Third year brings responsibility, more than Wakatoshi could have prepared himself for. But he embraces the challenge head-on, as he always does.

However, he finds himself cherishing the quiet moments of alone time more and more. Even when he’s not _alone_ , it’s nice to be in a quiet space with just one or two other people. Usually, it’s Reon, as his dormmate. But sometimes – Wakatoshi’s favorite times – it’s Tendou.

Tendou has started coming over every week to read Shounen Jump together. Wakatoshi enjoys it, enjoys spending time with Tendou and enjoys reading the ads. Tendou says it’s weird, but he never says _weird_ like it’s a bad thing.

That’s something that Wakatoshi has always liked about Tendou.

Sometimes, they’ll take a walk together. To the store, just around campus, to get ice cream– it doesn’t matter. Wakatoshi enjoys the time that they spend together.

More than normal, he’s pretty sure. But… maybe this is another best friend thing? This warmth, this _thing_ that blooms inside of his chest?

The way that they’ve gotten closer every time they’re together, the way that the back of Tendou’s hand brushes up against Wakatoshi’s. The way that hugs have gotten more frequent, without reason. The way that the kind and affirming words are going both ways.

This… this is a best friend thing, isn’t it?

V. Acts of Service

It’s not just a best friend thing.

Wakatoshi knows, somewhere in the confusion of his emotional mind, that he is in love with Satori. At some point, _Tendou_ because _Satori-kun_ became just _Satori_. And his thoughts and feelings are still a storm in his mind. Before he can even utter the _words_ , “I love you,” he first must think them to himself, accept them.

So he does what comes naturally. He keeps casually touching Satori and saying kind words. He spends time with Satori, more than ever before. And if there’s anything that he can do to make Satori’s life or day just a fraction easier, he does it.

He helps clean up after practice. He helps Satori wash his hair one day in the baths. It’s so much, and it feels so intimate. Every _action_ feels so loud that Wakatoshi is sure that the entirety of Japan must know just what he’s feeling. He hardly knows what he’s feeling.

After the loss to Karasuno, Satori calls himself Wakatoshi’s best friend. Wakatoshi nods, because that is true. Even if he feels something _else_ on top of it, it’s still true.

They do their cooldown stretches, and after, Wakatoshi notices Satori is fiddling with the athletic tape around his fingers. They need to be rewrapped.

“Do you need help with that?” he asks, kneeling in front of Satori, where he’s sat on the bench.

Satori nods and hands Wakatoshi the roll of tape. He’s uncharacteristically silent as Wakatoshi delicately unwraps the old tape, and then rewraps his fingers. Wakatoshi is focused on every little move, determined to do this well, not to wrap them too tight or too loose. And Satori watches him closely.

Wakatoshi looks up, cheeks warm when his eyes find Satori’s gazing right back at him. Up close, Satori has always had an intimidating stare. Not scary, not monstrous. Just intimidating.

_Things that you don’t understand are scary sometimes._

Wakatoshi realizes, belatedly, that Satori was right. Wakatoshi’s feelings are terrifying, because he doesn’t understand them. But Satori isn’t scary. He’s intimidating, because he always looks like he _knows_ something. Like he can see right through Wakatoshi’s every façade. It’s intimidating, and it sends a pleasant chill up Wakatoshi’s spine.

_I love him._

The thought rings loud and clear. He finishes taping Satori’s fingers, each careful movement further evidence of that thought.

_I love him._

+1

The closer that it gets to graduation, the more desperately Wakatoshi finds himself trying to stay close to Satori. After high school, Satori is going to Paris for school– he wants to be a chocolatier. But Wakatoshi will be here, playing volleyball, and Satori will be so far. _So far._

On Valentine’s Day, Wakatoshi gives Satori chocolates.

“They’re not friendship chocolates,” he says nervously, trying to gauge Satori’s reaction.

Satori smiles, bright and unfazed. “Is that so, Wakatoshi-kun?”

And he looks so unsurprised that suddenly, Wakatoshi isn’t scared anymore. “I love you,” he says with confidence.

“I love you too.” Satori leans closer, pecks Wakatoshi on the cheek.

“I think that was what I’ve been meaning to say for a while,” Wakatoshi admits plainly.

Satori laughs quietly and squeezes Wakatoshi’s shoulder gently. “It’s okay. I heard you, even when you didn’t say it.”

**Author's Note:**

> One more day!! Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/lovingyachi) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit


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